IN TODAY'S STUPID SONGS SECTION: Sly and the Family Stone are currently singing in the background of my computer. They are singing Everyday People. This is a stupid song anyway (and they play it too often for my taste on Pandora), but I would like to know what the hell Scooby Doo had to do with this song. Am I the only one to ever ask that question? I don't think so, there is bound to be an answer out there somewhere; I would appreciate it if any vigilant readers out there know the answer or are clever enough to make up something that sounds like the truth, please feel free to let me know under the comments section of this blog.
IN TODAY'S MORE STUPID SONGS SECTION: The group known as Steam wrote a song called Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye). This gem of a song was played for me this afternoon on Pandora. I had actually heard it several times before today, but never payed much attention to it until today. I won't write anything about the song, I'm just going to write the ending and see if you can spot the problem too. I'm not making this up and have copied it word for word:
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
Na na na na,
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
Na na na na,
Na na na na,
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
Na na na na,
Na na na na,
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
Na na na na,
Na na na na,
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
Na na na na,
Na na na na,
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
Na na na na,
Na na na na,
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
Na na na na,
Na na na na,
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
Na na na na,
Na na na na,
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
Na na na na,
Na na na na,
Hey, hey, hey,
Goodbye.
In case you want to purchase this song, just look for the album that looks like this:
A group of sweaty, furry and slightly over weight, pasty white guys all cuddled together in a sauna. Calm down ladies.
IN TODAY'S WELL, WE MAY AS WELL MAKE THIS WHOLE BLOG ABOUT STUPID SONGS: Let's just go with it.
Muskrat Love by Captain and Tennille. I personally don't see how you can miss with this song, especially if you happen to be a rodent. Check out these tantalizing lyrics: "Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam/ Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land/ and they shimmey... Sam is so skinny". Not to spoil the ending lets just say things get a little wild for Sam and Suzy after they start "Nibbling on bacon, chewing on cheese/ Sam says to Suzy, Honey, would you please be my Mrs." I refuse to write about the kinds of smut that happen next.
I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) by Meat Loaf. Appropriatly named after refrigerator leftovers, this artist would do anything for love, but he won't do that. No one knows what exactly it is he won't do and he doesn't bother to enlighten us with that mystyrious knowledge. This song is approxamatly 183 minutes long, and in all the professions of love that Mr. Loaf makes to his love, he still won't do that. Good for him. Take a stand.
My Ding A Ling by Chuck Berry. Oh, come on, I can't even type that without laughing hard enough to soil myself. Really, Chuck, do we want to know about this? "Oh my ding a ling, Everybody sing
I wanna play with my ding a ling a ling
My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I wanna play with my ding a ling a ling"*Note, I am not making this up, I swear* Are You Drinkin With Me Jesus? By Mojo Nixon, Country Dick Montana (snicker snicker) and Jello Biafra. These lyrics truely touched my soul: "As I nestled on my barstool / I felt your warmness within / I looked down at my pants / that wasn't warmness / I wet myself again". If that won't bring a tear to your eye, the chorus ought to do it: "Does your head pound, Jesus / As hung over you do rise / how does paradise look, Jesus / through holy bloodshot eyes/ should we take a cab home Jesus/ Man, we can hoof it from here / I know you can walk on the water /but can you walk on this much beer?" I've never witnessed cleverness on this level.
AND FINALLY: At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump – Weird Al. Yeah I know. Still...
No comments:
Post a Comment